Tuesday, September 25, 2012

WOYWW - I can not believe its been 13 years!

Good morning to all you wonderful people out there. I just love WOYWW and would not miss it for anything. (If you still don't know what I am talking about, then just follow the link and all will be revealed by the lovely Julia) As you can see, I am currently making use of the 'shove to the side' method to make some space on my workdesk. I have had a cardmaking frenzy during the weekend and while mr. Mojo was being kind, didn't want to waste any time cleaning.
 This is my actual workdesk today, filled with what I am actually supposed to be doing, marking essays! Must admit, some of them are very interesting. We had a whole discussion about different cultures and how they celebrate certain things. Living in a country known as the Rainbow Nation, that was a very interesting discussion. So I set them an essay to explain one day in their own culture. Very interesting indeed.
 This is the result of my recent visit from mr. Mojo - I told you there was no time to clean! LOL My DH always says that you can tell under how much pressure I am at work by the amount of cards I make. Apparently, the more relaxed I am, the less cards I make. Weird, don't you think? I would think it would be the other way around.
Yip, I did, I made some C cards! In September! The horror, the shock, its unbelievable. I must make a confession though, the image was coloured last year (hanging head in shame here) All papers and embellishments came from my stash.
You can stop reading here if you are from WOYWW, because the rest of this post is going to be personal and possibly boring.
The 23rd of September is a public holiday over here in South Africa, it is Heritage Day, the day where we celebrate our different cultures. Thirteen years ago, this was also one of the most horrible days I have ever lived through.
My DH has a friend that has been his best friend since grade 3. The two of them have been friends for all these years and luckily for them, the wives became firm friends too. Their two kids and our middle two kids were born a month apart and we often joked that they were confused as to which house and which family they all belonged to, because they were so close.
I realised with shock this weekend that it has been 13 years since that horrible day when Bernard and Ann's daughter Tanya was killed in a car crash. I will never forget that day. We got a phone call in the middle of the night from Bernard's brother to tell us what had happened. They went camping for the weekend and Tanya, her friend Natalie and the friend's BF were only leaving later that day after the BF finished work. They never arrived and did not answer phones. Bernard and his brother started searching for them and was told that there had been a horrific accident near Witbank. When they got to the police station, they discovered that both Tanya and Natalie were killed and the BF was fighting for his life..
Bernard's brother told us that they were on their way home, by now it was about 2 in the morning. We were looking after their dogs and had a key for their house. I was in total shock, but just knew that there was NO WAY that those two people would come home in the middle of the night to a dark house. We got up and went to their house to switch lights on for them.
The first thing I saw when I walked in, was Tanya's motorcycle helmet, felt like a punch in the stomach. I picked it up to put it in her room and when I walked in, her Matric Dance dress was hanging on the pelmet in front of me.
I can not remember much of the days that followed, just the pain and the numbness. My dear, dear friend had to endure and the helpless feeling of not knowing what to say or do. I remember that I told her that I had no words, but that I would give her a hug every day for as long as she needed it and it was almost 2 years before the day came that she told me she was OK and did not need a hug that day. She still comes for that hug sometimes. Bernard and my DH used to walk the streets in our suburb. Often returning after hours with red eyes, but never talking about what was said during those walks,
The happiest days in my life will always have some sadnes to it. When my DD got married, when she had her babies and when she graduated from school - all such happy days, but all a reminder that our dear friends would never have that with their daughter. This weekend my DH and I were talking about that day (as we always seem to do at this time of the year) and realised it has been 13 years. It feels like yesterday in some respects and I know that my friend's pain will always be there, no matter how many years pass. All I can do is give her a hug and pray that God will give them the strength to get through another year without their child.
To dearest Tanya, you may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.

28 comments:

  1. Hi,

    here is the link to the paper bow that you saw at sue's blog.

    http://helenmade.blogspot.com/2011/08/paper-bow-tutorial.html

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  2. The essays sound good what age do you teach?BJ#42

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  3. Oh my-that is a sad day. Seems we all have traumatic memories that anchor time for us, doesn't it? As I get older, I forget many things, but not events like this. It was meant to be that you were there to be friend and support to her...

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  4. Beautiful Christmas card, happy crafting jill#28

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  5. Sometimes words just aren't enough.....hug.
    Annie x

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  6. What a wonderful friend you are. It's when things like that happen that you find out who your true friends are.

    Hugs Ellie Wee #75 xx

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  7. Bless you, dear Tertia, for being the Dispenser of Hugs for as long as they were needed. That loving and sensory contact goes beyond words when words fail.

    That Mojo Man has been very productive at your desk. I'm impressed with all those C cards. Mine are just amorphous ideas at the moment. Hmm.

    Smiles to you,
    Ros. #31

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  8. You have lots of goodies in your creative spaces and essays abound too. I loved my teaching job too (retired now).
    You are indeed a wonderful friend; to give so much support to a grieving Mum, not an easy thing to do.
    Happy WOYWW and have a creative end to the week.
    hugs {brenda} xox #83

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  9. Like the sound of the essays - great idea. Very impressed with your Christmas card makes, now you will have more time nearer to Christmas whilst the rest of us are getting stressed out! Happy WOYWw, Anne x #65

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  10. What a sad story, it must be so tough for your friend, but one consolation is that she has such a good friend x Sharon #79

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  11. Tears pricking at my eyes, so sorry for your loss and that of your friend.

    Yesterday a friend rang me, her daughter lost her battle with caner last year and yesterday would have been her birthday. A very distressed friend who is only just learning to cope.

    On a brighter note love your "C" cards and I bet those essays are a treat to read. What a lovely idea for an essay for the girls.

    Thanks for sharing, Hugs, Neet #5 xx

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  12. A sad day for you. X

    We like your 'shove to the side' method of cleaning. I think we'll adopt that.

    Love from the bears @#93 this week

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  13. Lovely colourful desk. I read on...... Wow, at least your friends have you. What a story. Very sad.
    Famfa 13

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  14. You've been really busy and it looks like your creative stuff had taken over the rule of all rooms - I like that!
    Thank you for your nice comment on my last weeks post! Happy WOYWW 173
    BarbaraBee #111

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  15. We all use the "shove to the side" technic from time to time. That is how a 4ft long desk only has 18" of work space LOL
    Krisha @40

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  16. What a special friend you are. Such a sad story. I am counting my blessings. x Jo

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  17. Sending you hugs as it sounds like you need them right now. Loving the level of productivity - oh, in my dreams! When you've done with him Mr Mojo would be welcome over here:) Hugs, Buttons #70

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  18. A big hug for you dearest--time heals but the pain never truly goes away. You are, indeed, a wonderful friend. Now on to your desk...I love the "shove aside" method as well as the couch desk method. I am deeply familiar with both! Happy WOYWW! Sandy Leigh at #11

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  19. I had planned to get here early so I could be the first to leave a message when a thunderstorm knocked my electricity out. It was still out this morning when I went grocery shopping. Hard to shop when all the registers are hooked to computers (aka electricity).

    I started crying about half way through your story, and didn't stop for the longest time. I'm drying my eyes now so I can tell you how sorry I am about your friend's daughter. This could not be easy for either family right now, even after 13 years!

    Thanks for stopping by and have a super WoYWW from #4, still eternally grateful for you and your lovely gift.

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  20. Prayers asaid here for your dear friend. What a terrible thing to happen...I just can't even imagine what they have been through as a family!
    I am sorry for your loss as well.

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  21. What a sad memory - a difficult time of the year then for all involved. How busy you've been making all those cards.
    Bernice #69

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  22. Losing a child whatever the age is the hardest thing for a parent to bear - in fact, you wonder how life can carry on and then feel guilty when it does. You are the kindest of friends - one who stuck in there when the going got tough.
    Sending hugs to you this time,
    LLJ 59 xxxx

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  23. Here in the Philippines when we get to the -ber months, Christmas carols start playing on the radio and the malls.
    Well, saying we could stop reading ensured that I didn't and I read through to the end. how very heart wrenching for all of you. :^( patsy

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  24. What a sad day for you all to remember. Thank goodness for friends.
    Sandra @23

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  25. Hi there Tertia - ah sorrow and loss always have a silver lining - and true friends are there in thick and thin...I know God will bless you all and be your comfort and strength as you say Tertia. Thanks so much for sharing! you are a blessing indeed. Shaz in Oz. x #21

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  26. I'm glad to see you've used the "shove it to the side" method isn't it awesome and you can clean when Mr. Mojo leaves and the cleaning usually brings him right back for me LOL!

    What a sad story,I've heard that the loss of a child is like no other. I have a friend who's child was killed 10 days after his 2nd birthday. I don't try to imagine. Even though 13 yrs may have passed new "what would she " memories for everyone of them comes to her parents mind! I assume the long red eyed walks with your husband meant the world to him and were part of the healing process if only to give an ear! God bless your friends,tfs Tamika #34

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  27. My desk often look like that and that doesn't mean Mr Mojo has been around;-)

    I am sure that what you did for your friend in the two years after their daughters death and even to today is just what she needed at the time. Friendship like that is precious...through the good, the bad and the ugly that life throws at us.

    xx

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  28. My prayers are with you and yours. Amazing bunch of Christmas Cards you have created.

    Happy WOYWW sorry I am running really late.

    Eliza

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