Thursday, August 29, 2013

So sad and so very angry!

I wrote the title to this post yesterday and then I just could not finish the post. Too many emotions and so afraid I would say something really scathing and unnecessary.
Yesterday was the funeral of one of my girls' mom who passed away from a stroke at 46. She leaves behind a daughter of 17 and a son of 13. It just breaks my heart that children have to grow up without their mother. I taught the mom when she was at school, so it is doubly sad for me. She was one of the most creative people I have ever had the pleasure to teach.
You ask why the anger? It has nothing to do with the funeral or the passing of an incredible lady. One of my friends from school asked to travel to the funeral with me and when I asked the normal 'How are you?' , expecting to get the normal 'I am fine', she broke down and wept, like I have never seen her weep. It took her a few minutes to recover enough to share her story with me.
This friend, an incredibly kind and caring lady, was childless for many years when she heard about a newborn baby who was found in a black bag in a garbage can. This was 19 years ago. She and her husband opened their home and their hearts to this precious gift from God and raised an incredible young woman.
She grew up knowing she was adopted, but was never told the circumstances of how she was found because my friend felt that she did not want her to feel that she was worthless and that her birthmother did not care about her.
This year she went to University and shared a room with a girl from the East Rand, who obviously told her parents and family about her lovely room mate after which the aunt, a social worker started asking all sorts of questions. What is her mother's name? Where do they stay? etc. Only to exclaim 'Oh! I am sure that is the girl I found in a garbage can all those years ago!"
The room mate went back to University after the holidays, asked the girl whether her mom is her biological daughter and when she said no, she proceeded to tell the whole story, not only to the girl, but to everybody that wanted to hear.
To make a long story short, the girl ended up in a hospital for three weeks after a break down and was completely suicidal! Mom is distraught and can not stop crying. I ask you all to keep them in your prayers and to make this girl realize that mom kept that from her out of love and not because she wanted to harm her in any way.
I am so angry at the social worker who discussed this with her family. Is there no code that prevents them from talking about the cases they deal with?????


  1. Oh Tertia.
    The more I read the more my heart sank. It should never have happened I am certain. As a nurse you are trained to never share information like that with others and I'm certain social workers are no different but alas the damage has been done now. I really do hope that young lady is able to know her true worth. I will be keeping her in my heart and sending lots of love and good vibes out to her family.
    Annie xxxx

  2. Oh Tertia, what a sad story. My heart bleeds for the young girl and her adoptive mother. This should never have happened. Is the Social Worker aware of what she has caused? She should be told to stop her from doing something similar in future. Oh wow, prayers for this family. hugs Sharon x

  3. Hierdie breek my hart...omdat ek weet hoe dit is om 'n aangenome dogter te he....en omdat ek self moes sien hoe sy gewroeg het omdat "welmenende" familie alewig gekrap het in haar verlede. Ek bid saam met jou vir genesing vir die kosbare meisiekind en haar ma.